Mama Bin Cranky

Dear Fast Food Worker:

Yeah, go ahead and strike. After all, you are a professional. This job flipping burgers and schlepping shakes is your dream job. It is what you went through 12 years of school for. Oh, I’m so sorry. You didn’t graduate from High School. But somehow, you knew it was what you wanted to be. A fast food worker.  A worker, not a supervisor or an assistant supervisor. Not a shift manager, and not a cashier, because you aren’t really good with money. But you are great with french fries after a three-month training period. Heaven knows how hard you work. That is why my order is always correct and fast.

Go ahead. Strike. There will be lots of 16 years olds who might like your job. And remember, if this silly ploy works, a lot of the increase in pay will go to the union you will end up joining. And if your job is in a poorer neighborhood and is close to your house, don’t look for that place to stay open. You are gonna have to take a bus or two now because the poor folks who live near you won’t be able to afford the hamburgers you flip, so the franchise will close. But that is ok. You are a professional burger flipper with a couple of kids and it is only right that you be paid $15 hour. Not everyone can fix a Big Mac. It takes a lot of book learnin’ to squirt that special sauce, you know. Prove to the world why you are now worth $15 an hour. After you take the cigarette break and call your parole officer.