1.  UK slips back into recession.  Don’t let anyone pay attention to these worldly concerns.

2.  Spain and Greece still suck and the EU won’t be able to bail them out.  Maybe this can keep under the radar until November.

3.  Houses in 16 of 20 markets continue to fall in price and your last plan to fix it, another task force, hasn’t even had a meeting yet.  No biggy, you got some mileage out of the announcement.

4.  Little inflation unless you buy gas or food.

5.  Unemployment trend is going in wrong direction again.  But this can be fixed by a few million people dropping out of the work force.  After all this is the best way to get the unemployment rate to go down, don’t you know.

6. Economy grew at 2.2 rate 1st quarter rather than the “expert” expectation of 2.6.  Of course, this is much lower than the 3% rate of growth 4th quarter rate in 2011. Kinda a favorite of your’s, slow jamming the economy.

7.  Your EPA guy spoke the truth about your policy about fossil fuel energy but only conservative bloggers and Fox watchers really care.

8.  The New York Times has decided they were a little too enamored of you the last time and that they need to do a better job vetting both you and your policies this time.  No need to panic, it’s a ruse and you know they are incapable of actually being critical of you for any real issue.

9.  VP Biden knows that once you go black, you can’t go back.  This regards the big stick you carry.

10.  The voting age youth get most of their news from Comedy Shows.  You are in the clear.

11.  Air Force One is a great way to campaign.  You should know, you have done twice the fundraisers as GWB at the same time in his term.  You love campaigning.  It is so much easier than actually governing.  Second only to golf.

12.  Cool beats Competent, doesn’t it?